Hello everyone. I wanted to post my story to give a different perspective on tattoo removal and maybe help someone out.
About me: I am 25 years old, live in Portland Oregon, I'm a biologist and I work in a professional office where the dress code is formal. My tattoo is big and on my upper thigh coming down 2 inches above my knee.
I got my first tattoo 4 weeks ago and I would love to say that it was a wonderful experience but that would be a lie. I had planned my tattoo, consulted with my tattoo artist and made an appointment to get my tattoo. I had spent years looking at tattoos, saving ideas on my iPad, talking to my friends about tattoo ideas and really planning out my tattoo. I was SO excited to get my tattoo and could not wait for my appointment. The day of my appointment I went into the tattoo shop and saw the stencil. I loved it! He put the stencil on And I got my tattoo (just the outline and shading). The next morning I took off my bandage and absolutely freaked out! Thoughts that went through my head included "oh my gosh it is HUGE" "I can't even see myself because I only see the tattoo!" And "what the hell did I just do to myself?!"
I went to work and was feeling extreme anxiety. My heart felt like it was coming out of my chest, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I spent hours crying and obsessing about the tattoo. This went on for 2 weeks. Then I started feeling depressed and embarrassed. So the emotions were going just absolutely crazy and I knew I couldn't handle feeling that way anymore. I scheduled an appointment at a laser tattoo removal place. They told me since it was a fresh tattoo I would have to wait a month before my first treatment. They also told me that new ink is harder to get rid of then older ink. They also told me that my tattoo was beautiful.
So I had a while before my laser removal appointment and my mind was now focused on removal results. Constantly reading blogs, looking at before and after pictures. I was having a hard time finding pictures of fully removed tattoos which really scared me. Generally just freaking out.
I decided to go to a counselor to talk about how I was feeling and learn some techniques to calm my anxiety. I had never gone to a counselor before and felt pretty embarrassed but I didn't care at that point because I wanted to feel normal again. I left the appointment feeling like it didn't help at all which made me MORE freaked out. But then I began to think about what we talked about and I started feeling a bit more calm. I would recommend talking to someone. I know it sounds embarrassing and it probably will be but for me it helped break me out of the total panic phase of hating my tattoo and myself for getting it.
After I had time to really think about my tattoo in a logical way. A lot of my fears started sounding less scary to me. For example I was very afraid that my co-workers were going to judge me and that I was never going to be able to wear a work skirt because my tattoo would show. Then I realized that my coworkers were never going to see the tattoo unless I wanted them too and that most work attire covers your knees so it would never show. That is just an example of one of my fears but there were many like this where when I really thought about it they were exaggerated in my head. This is common for people suffering from anxiety. Fears are amplified out of proportion.
I started reading blogs about tattoo shock. Which is basically when you see something new and big on your body and your brain tells you "get it off it's not supposed to be there!" There are many stories of people who hated their tattoo when they first got it and now love it. This made me feel a lot less crazy for my reaction and also gave me hope that I would start to like mine. At this point I still hated mine.
Flash forward a week. I still was freaked out about my tattoo (3 weeks after getting it) and still reading removal results. I had an appointment for removal in a week. My tattoo was still unfinished and just had lines and shading. I had originally planned on getting it colored but canceled that appointment when I had my initial freak out. I was sitting on my couch at my house on the internet looking at tattoo removal when I thought "maybe I should see what it looks like with color". So I went to the store and bought non-toxic markers and colored in my tattoo. I realized that the tattoo ink would look a lot better but I wanted to just get an idea. I went into the bathroom and looked at it with color. I can't even explain how relieved I was! Instead of the huge black blob (as I called it) it looked like a bright, beautiful piece of art! For anyone that has an unfinished tattoo I would suggest doing this! That night I slept soundly. I still didn't fell 100% but I felt better. The next day I went for a run in nature and I realized "you know what. Tattoos are personal and you got this for a reason and @&$* the people that judge!" This was breakthrough. I went home and had a long conversation with my boyfriend and decided to keep my tattoo.
I am currently taking things really slow with the color. I've been getting little pieces done at a time and really researching what I want before I go into the shop. Pastel colors tend to lighten the appearance of tattoos so I think I'm going to do that.
This has really been a learning experience about myself. I know now that I can get through hard things in my life and now this tattoo will be a reminder to me of that for the rest of my life. I am a tough person! This has been a lesson in self love and acceptance.
I just thought I would post this to give a different perspective to this tattoo regret craziness and let you know that you can get through this and feeling regret doesn't always necessarily mean that you hate your tattoo. It could be bringing up hidden insecurities that you didn't know where there! You can get get through this! And even if your first reaction to something is negative, it doesn't always mean it's bad.
About me: I am 25 years old, live in Portland Oregon, I'm a biologist and I work in a professional office where the dress code is formal. My tattoo is big and on my upper thigh coming down 2 inches above my knee.
I got my first tattoo 4 weeks ago and I would love to say that it was a wonderful experience but that would be a lie. I had planned my tattoo, consulted with my tattoo artist and made an appointment to get my tattoo. I had spent years looking at tattoos, saving ideas on my iPad, talking to my friends about tattoo ideas and really planning out my tattoo. I was SO excited to get my tattoo and could not wait for my appointment. The day of my appointment I went into the tattoo shop and saw the stencil. I loved it! He put the stencil on And I got my tattoo (just the outline and shading). The next morning I took off my bandage and absolutely freaked out! Thoughts that went through my head included "oh my gosh it is HUGE" "I can't even see myself because I only see the tattoo!" And "what the hell did I just do to myself?!"
I went to work and was feeling extreme anxiety. My heart felt like it was coming out of my chest, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I spent hours crying and obsessing about the tattoo. This went on for 2 weeks. Then I started feeling depressed and embarrassed. So the emotions were going just absolutely crazy and I knew I couldn't handle feeling that way anymore. I scheduled an appointment at a laser tattoo removal place. They told me since it was a fresh tattoo I would have to wait a month before my first treatment. They also told me that new ink is harder to get rid of then older ink. They also told me that my tattoo was beautiful.
So I had a while before my laser removal appointment and my mind was now focused on removal results. Constantly reading blogs, looking at before and after pictures. I was having a hard time finding pictures of fully removed tattoos which really scared me. Generally just freaking out.
I decided to go to a counselor to talk about how I was feeling and learn some techniques to calm my anxiety. I had never gone to a counselor before and felt pretty embarrassed but I didn't care at that point because I wanted to feel normal again. I left the appointment feeling like it didn't help at all which made me MORE freaked out. But then I began to think about what we talked about and I started feeling a bit more calm. I would recommend talking to someone. I know it sounds embarrassing and it probably will be but for me it helped break me out of the total panic phase of hating my tattoo and myself for getting it.
After I had time to really think about my tattoo in a logical way. A lot of my fears started sounding less scary to me. For example I was very afraid that my co-workers were going to judge me and that I was never going to be able to wear a work skirt because my tattoo would show. Then I realized that my coworkers were never going to see the tattoo unless I wanted them too and that most work attire covers your knees so it would never show. That is just an example of one of my fears but there were many like this where when I really thought about it they were exaggerated in my head. This is common for people suffering from anxiety. Fears are amplified out of proportion.
I started reading blogs about tattoo shock. Which is basically when you see something new and big on your body and your brain tells you "get it off it's not supposed to be there!" There are many stories of people who hated their tattoo when they first got it and now love it. This made me feel a lot less crazy for my reaction and also gave me hope that I would start to like mine. At this point I still hated mine.
Flash forward a week. I still was freaked out about my tattoo (3 weeks after getting it) and still reading removal results. I had an appointment for removal in a week. My tattoo was still unfinished and just had lines and shading. I had originally planned on getting it colored but canceled that appointment when I had my initial freak out. I was sitting on my couch at my house on the internet looking at tattoo removal when I thought "maybe I should see what it looks like with color". So I went to the store and bought non-toxic markers and colored in my tattoo. I realized that the tattoo ink would look a lot better but I wanted to just get an idea. I went into the bathroom and looked at it with color. I can't even explain how relieved I was! Instead of the huge black blob (as I called it) it looked like a bright, beautiful piece of art! For anyone that has an unfinished tattoo I would suggest doing this! That night I slept soundly. I still didn't fell 100% but I felt better. The next day I went for a run in nature and I realized "you know what. Tattoos are personal and you got this for a reason and @&$* the people that judge!" This was breakthrough. I went home and had a long conversation with my boyfriend and decided to keep my tattoo.
I am currently taking things really slow with the color. I've been getting little pieces done at a time and really researching what I want before I go into the shop. Pastel colors tend to lighten the appearance of tattoos so I think I'm going to do that.
This has really been a learning experience about myself. I know now that I can get through hard things in my life and now this tattoo will be a reminder to me of that for the rest of my life. I am a tough person! This has been a lesson in self love and acceptance.
I just thought I would post this to give a different perspective to this tattoo regret craziness and let you know that you can get through this and feeling regret doesn't always necessarily mean that you hate your tattoo. It could be bringing up hidden insecurities that you didn't know where there! You can get get through this! And even if your first reaction to something is negative, it doesn't always mean it's bad.