Will I be horribly depressed if I explant?

I had breast implants 20 years ago and it has not gone well for me. I had the complication of nerve damage resulting in total numbness of most of my breast area. Even now I have feeling only on the outside of my breasts. Then, within a few years I developed severe capsular contracture that made my breasts misshapen and rock hard. I was very afraid to have another surgery and I couldn't afford it either, so I waited years to have revision. Three years ago I had capsulectomy and downsized implant exchange. Now I have developed capsular contracture again plus a new complication - the skin has thinned so much in one place that the edge of the implant is visible right under the skin and will eventually break through. It's painful and I have to use rolled up gauze and medical tape to push it back into place. I am a walking complication and beyond discouraged. I saw a new surgeon today and he said I need to to either have them out for good or replace them soon because the skin is close to breaking. I think my body is telling me that implants are not for me. But I am now middle aged and it's hard to imagine life without them. I had implants originally because I was completely flat chested and absolutely loathed my body. I can't imagine how awful it will look now if I have them out. (To make things even worse my husband and I are separating.) Is there anyone like me who was flat chested and had explant? Is it devastating?